FADE IN:
           EXT. WASTELAND -- DAY
           HARMEN (early thirties, panama hat, baggy chinos, polo
           shirt, socks with sandals) books into view with an M16
           swinging from his shoulder.
           Bullets zip by him, kicking up dust.
           Harmen leaps across a gully and stops short.
           HUNTER ZOMBIE stands before him, drooling and stumbling,
           hands outstretched.
           Harmen is paralyzed for one terrible moment, then
           ZIP-SPLAT.  The zombie's chest explodes.
           Two more rounds ZING by and Harmen is off again.
           FADE TO BLACK
           INT. GARAGE -- DAY
           A pink teddy bear with half its face burned off hangs from
           a chain.
           A blue flame whips to life in the darkness.
           It's put to metal and the sparks fly in the reflection of
           the WELDERS mask.
           EXT. FIELD -- DAY
           Harmen runs up to a large metal door and begins pounding at
           it with his fists.  More GUN FIRE can be heard off in the
           distance.
           Harmen keeps going, stumbling from exhaustion but spurred
           on by a desperate need to survive.
           He snags his foot on a concealed wire and face plants,
           knocking himself cold.
            We move past his limp body to the wire, following it to a
           hole in the ground and...
           INT. GARAGE -- DAY
           ...a wire coming out of a hole in the wall attached to an
           alarm that triggers a tape deck.  The deck starts up and
           Japanese Psychedelic noise rock blasts through speakers
           mounted around the building.
           The WELDER looks up at a spinning red light and the torch
           goes off.
           INT. PIT -- DAY
           Harmen wakes up in an open metal cage, wincing in pain.
           Duct tape is wrapped over his head and under his chin,
           holding a bag of frozen brussel sprouts to a large bruise.
           He looks around at the darkly lit confines.
           Shadow passes across the overhead grate and he looks up in
           alarm.  He sits up.
                                 HARMEN
                     Hello?
           A small FIGURE with Harmen's big chinos cinched up around
           it's tiny waist walks to the edge of the pit and looks down
           on him.  Long welders gloves on both arms.  From the torso
           on up it wears a fury brown cowl/coyote mask with a gas mask
           tube curling out of it's mouth.  His panama hat sits between
           the pointy ears.
           It stands motionless, regarding him.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     Who are you?
           Silence.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     Where am I?
           Silence.  Harmen starts to get annoyed.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                               (more to self)
                     Are those my pants?
           The figure shakes it's head and raise a strange hand gun
           with a large round snub barrel and a C2 cartridge in back.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     Whoa.
           The figure levels the gun at his face.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     Shit!!! Way, way, wait!  Keep the pants, man...
           The gun moves down to his crotch.  There is a pop and a
           large round ball flies from the barrel and bounces off his
           nuts.
           Harmen collapses in pain.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     Fuck!  Fuck!  Fuck!  Fuck! Fuck!
           The figure punches a button and the cage starts to rise.
           It settles on the ground floor with a thud and Harmen
           groans and looks up.  The figure is crouched down regarding
           him.
                                 FIGURE
                     Mmm hrrmm mmm.
           Harmen is confused, cheeks streaked with tears.
                                 HARMEN
                     I don't....what?
           The figure begins to pull up it's mask as it talks again.
                                 LILLY
                     mmmharm...know what's good for you.
                     That was my ball gun.  You get
                     fresh, you get the balls.  Here's
                     how this is going to work.  I say,
                     you do.  Period.
           Lilly (late teens/early twenties, choppy haircut and
           gypsy-punk make up) sneers down at the shocked Harmen.
                                 LILLY (CONT'D)
                     Are we going to behave ourselves,
                     Chad....
           She regards him sternly, slowly blowing a huge pink bubble.
                                 LILLY (CONT'D)
                      -wi-CK.
           It pops and he nods his head quickly.
                                 LILLY (CONT'D)
                     Super!
           She walks away cheerfully, headed towards her work shop.
           Harmen slowly rises and follows.
           INT.  WORKSHOP -- DAY
           Sparks fly as Lilly grinds a metal plate.  She picks it up and blows off some shavings.
           Harmen lowers himself into a rocking chair as Lilly raises her goggles and checks the
           edge of her plate.
           Harmen peels the sprouts off his head and moves them down
           to his crotch, wincing from the pain.  His gaze lands on a
           large metal barrel, spot welded with junky doodads, a happy
           dog face painted on the front of it.
           Lilly is rummaging around in some scrap metal.  He watches
           her wipe her dirty fingers on his pants.
                                 HARMEN
                     Can I have my pants back, girl?
                                 LILLY
                     My name's Lilly and these pants are
                     mine.  I found em.  How much do you
                     weigh?
                                 HARMEN
                     What?
                                 LILLY
                     Duh!  How many pounds are you?
                                 HARMEN
                     Uh...I don't know, 190, 200?
                                 LILLY
                          (scolding)
                     Lying about your weight.  Are we
                     gonna lie to each other Chad?
           She clucks her tongue and goes back to work.
                                 LILLY (CONT'D)
                     I'd say 230.  That's still pretty
                     light.  You should eat something.
           She nods to a paper plate holding a sandwich (crusts cut
           off) and several packets of pop rocks, fanned out in a
           pleasing presentation.  Harmen gives a hesitant look to the
           food before ripping into it.
                                 LILLY (CONT'D)
                     Take a bite of the chuck wagon and
                     then some pop rocks.  It's like
                     eating a samwich in space.
           Harmen gives her an odd look.  She is filling a metal
           canister with small pieces of scrap metal, old screws, etc.
                                 HARMEN
                     So...you all by yourself?
                                 LILLY
                     My brother will be here soon.
           She points to a large desk calendar, mounted on the wall,
           almost every day of the month covered with a sticker -- the
           last date written in sparkle marker "BROTHER DAY!"
                                 HARMEN
                     When's he getting here?
                                 LILLY
                     That's a picture of my Dad.
           She nods to a poster of the Ultimate Warrior.
                                 HARMEN
                     I can see the resemblance.
           Lilly shakes the canister, pleased with her work, then
           drops it in a back pack, filled with two others.
                                 LILLY
                     Alright, get up Chadwick.  Let's go.
                                 HARMEN
                     Don't call me Chadwick. Where are
                     we going?
           She steps behind the big metal thing in the wheel chair and
           grunts as she pushes it forward.
                                 LILLY
                     Shopping!!
           EXT. JUNKYARD -- DAY
           Lilly picks up a piece of junk and inspects it before
           tossing it away.
           Harmen stands next to the thing in the wheel chair, looking
           anxious in his underwear.  He bites his lip and looks
           towards the sounds of Lilly rummaging near by.
                                 HARMEN
                     Lilly, this is a bad idea.  Why the
                     hell are we out here?
           Lilly bounds out of a junk pile, carrying a large white
           object.
                                 LILLY
                     Look what I found!!
           It's a three foot high plastic snow man statue, headless.
                                 HARMEN
                     What is it?
           That stops her.
                                 LILLY
                     I dun-know.  Here.
           She shoves it in his hands and is off again.  Harmen drops
           it and paces after her.
                                 HARMEN
                     What are you looking for?  Maybe I
                     can...
           Lilly holds up a large black sprocket.
                                 LILLY
                     One of these.  Gotta be more here
                     somewhere.  So where'd you come from
                     Chadwick?
           Harmen looks off, lost in thought.
           EXT. TENNIS COURTS -- DAY
           A ball volley's over the net in the foreground.  Harmen and
           three other RICH GUYS sit on a patio, sipping drinks served
           up by a BUTLER (dressed in sharp whites).
                                 HARMEN
                     ....So I thought why deal in
                     futures when there doesn't seem to
                     be one.
           An ALARM goes off and one of the guys looks up scared.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     Oh, don't mind that.  You get used
                     to it after a while.  Have you seen
                     the gattling gun yet?  It's a real
                     treat when a big group of
                     dead-walkers show up.
           There is a rumble in the distance, catching the eye of one
           of the Rich Guys.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     They're not supposed to, but some
                     of the guards will let you try it if
                     you pay...
           There is the sound of an EXPLOSION, much closer and
           everyone's heads turn.  Rich Guy stands up slowly.
                                 RICH GUY
                     What the fff.....
           EXT. JUNKYARD -- DAY
           Harmen snaps back into reality.
                                 HARMEN
                     Worst 3 million I ever spent...
           He trails off as he spots a group of approaching Zombies
           (4).
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     Aw shit, Lilly get down here!
                                 LILLY
                     I found it!!!
           She holds up the sprocket triumphantly.
                                 HARMEN
                     Lilly!!!
           He looks up to where she was to see she's disappeared.
           Suddenly her arms wrap around his waits and a buckle clicks
           into place.
           She does other straps across his shoulders and drops a
           canister down the barrel.
           He looks behind him at Bingo, now strapped to his back.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     Lily, what the f...
                                 LILLY
                     Oh right!  Sorry!
           She runs behind him and pulls the wheel chair away.  Harmen
           almost tips backwards, stumbling to keep his balance.
                                 HARMEN
                     What the hell is this?
           Lilly pulls a rip cord and a small engine growls to life,
           kicking up black smoke.  A rattling sound builds from the
           barrel, like glass and bolts spinning in a cement mixer.
                                 LILLY
                     This, Chad Harmen, is Bingo.  Or
                     Bingo...uhm... (2...3...4..) 5! Right?
                     The best one yet!
           The zombies are getting closer, one gives a flat howl.
           Harmen freaks out and begins pulling at his straps.
                                 LILLY (CONT'D)
                     Hold still!!!
           Lilly pushes him into position.
           There is a zipping sound as she pulls a long wick
           from a back chamber and holds a butane lighter up to it,
           just within his periffary.
                                 HARMEN
                     Oh sweet Jesus.
           The wick flares up and quickly starts to burn down the line.
           Lilly cranks an egg timer mounted on the side to 30 seconds.
           Harmen looks at the nearing zombies then to Lilly who is
           taking cover behind a large pile of tires.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     What's going on?!
                     How does this work?!!
           Lilly straps a bike helmet on and shrugs.
                                 LILLY
                          (matter of factly)
                     Not sure if it's going to.
           Harmen turns and Bingo's barrel starts to point her
           direction.  Her eyes get wide and she frantically motions
           for him to aim back towards the zombies, which he does with
           a grimace.
           The egg timer nears the end as the whine of the engine
           increases and the wick disappears into the machine, allot of
           it drowning out Harmen's building scream.
           Lilly puts her fingers in her ears, blowing a bubble as she
           slowly begins to drop behind her cover.
           A Zombie gnashes it's teeth and raises a rotten stump as it
           steps forward.
           The big pink bubble pops.
           There is a moment of deadly silence.
           An explosion rips out of the cannon, skidding Harmen back
           through the dirt.
           A fiery blast of projectile junk - like buck shot made of
           nuts, bolts, pieces of chain and shards of glass all but
           disintegrate the zombie horde.
           Harmen lies on his belly panting as Lilly runs over to him
           and helps him into a dazed sitting position.
                                 LILLY (CONT'D)
                     You're still alive!  That's so cool!
                                 HARMEN
                          (whispering, in
                          shock)
                     That was awesome....
           Lilly turns and looks behind them.
                                 LILLY
                     Aw sugarplums.
           She pops up and Harmen shakily rises behind her.  Lilly
           snaps back into action, taking out more cans.
           Eight more Zombies approach from the rear.  There is a
           rustling sound above them and three more appear over the top
           of a garbage heap.
           Lilly gives her gum a worried snap.  There is a clatter
           behind her and she looks down to see Harmen scrambling into
           position, puffed up with adrenaline and crazy eyes.
                                 HARMEN
                     Lock and load you crazy bitch!
                     Let's smoke these corpses!
           Lilly cheerfully drops another canister down the barrel.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     I'm gonna make me some scrapple!
           Lilly pulls the rip cord.
                                 LILLY
                     Yeah!
                                 HARMEN
                     We're going to turn you into
                     fuckin' bacon bits!
           Lilly yanks out another wick and raises her lighter.
                                 LILLY
                     Yeah!
                                 HARMEN
                     Straight to hell!
           Suddenly a piece pops off the machine and the engine goes
           from purring to a high pitched whine.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     What's that?
           He turns to see Lilly quickly backing away from him, eyes
           wide.
           The whine is at an unbearable pitch now.  The whole
           contraption shakes and smoke comes out of a leak in the
           side.
                                 HARMEN (CONT'D)
                     Lilly?
           The cannon explodes and Harmen is disintegrated.
           Lilly opens an umbrella and squints her eyes as pieces of
           meat rain back down from the sky.
           A chunk lands at the feet of a Zombie.  It picks it up and
           begins to chew on it.
           Lilly walks away, the zombies munching on pieces of Harmen
           behind her.